You sincerely want to help, but what if you employ strategies and habits that cause harm. Genuineness doesn’t expunge incompetence. Portraits of lousy helpers: Overeager helper: When time allows, step back and let people struggle with their own challenges and problems. 4 benefits of struggle: Self-respect. Grit. Struggle strengthens. Over-protection propagates weakness. Openness. When people feel the challenge of struggle, it opens them to receive help. Learning moments often come slowly. Respect for help. Quick interventions feel degrading to recipients. Needy helper: Helping elevates perceived self-worth but lowers the status of others. It’s not helpful to make others feel less competent when you want them to boldly take ownership. Controlling helper: Expert helpers need others to do exactly as they’re told. In the end, dependency develops. The goal of helping is getting to the place where helping isn’t needed. 3 Tips for humble helpers:...
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